2010

Its a new year and it doesn't feel much different than it did yesterday. Its still snowing, the economy is still in bad shape, and things just aren't looking to bright for the upcoming year. Where's the optimist? I'm afraid she's been buried under some poor choices as of late.

However that can't stop me, not entirely in any case. I've picked up my camera again and despite the odd ups and downs of Upstate New York weather I've gone out and gotten a few photos I'm rather proud of. However, the feeling is simply gone. I had always taken short "road trips" with at least one friend in tow. Having lost my main photographing partner in a motorcycle crash in April of this past year I simply don't feel the joy and the magic that I had before. The memories I create now are my own and they're lonely ones. I'm going to have to take my photography in an entirely new direction. I'm going to have to revamp it and look at it another way. My photography had always reflected someting I've felt...and i can see the loneliness in the photos I've taken recently. Even the happy snapshots of the family are proof enough. I'm hanging in the background watching and capturing their happy moments, but never truely getting in on the festivities.

I'd stopped reading for a few months...I had tried going out and having some adventures...but knowing few people and having no sense of direction I quickly got lost. I think I need to take it a step at a time and go back to reading a bit more and looking to fill some voids a little less. So I've picked up a few new books from my now favorite place: Barnes & Noble. I've gotten a new Photography book, a biography of a Wiccan laywer, and a tragic love story too keep my mind where I want it-in a world full of education, fact, and fiction. A remedy that can soothe the aches and pains of a troubled heart and mind. (To quote Don, "Take two 'a these and call me in the morning!")

That was a lot of ramble to get on to my point. That is my mind set as of right now...and I've decided that I want to dedicate this year to findning and creating myself. I want to transform and mold myself into who I want to be. This is most and formost something I wish to do for me, however, I also think the people around me will beniefit just as much.

So Blessed be to everyone who stumbles upon this meager blog and have a blessed new year.